“Is there a “right” therapist for me?”

 

I am listening to Fresh Air on NPR (I know, big surprise) about a couple who were both in the army and are now dealing with traumatic brain injury (Plenty of Time When We Get Home: Love and Recovery in the Aftermath of War by Kayla Williams).  She was talking about going to therapy for her Obsessive Compulsive Disorder.  She said, “Fortunately, I got a therapist who was not touchy-feely.”  She said that with such surprise, It occurred to me that a lot of people don’t know that there are many different kinds of therapists who do therapy in lots of different ways.

I am frequently engaged in helping other people find therapists.  I put a lot of thought into this and really enjoy trying to come up with a good fit.  Here are a few of the things that I think are important to take into consideration when finding a therapist.

1. Location, location, locaation!  Truly, if your therapist is not convenient, it will be very difficult to get to therapy or you will start to resent making the effort to get there.  I always try to find a therapist for someone based on whether it would be easier to see the therapist close to work or close to home, whether they have a car or take public transportation.

2. Personality.  Some clients are looking for “the good mother,” someone warm and accepting.  I have a go-to friend for those types of people and generally those relationships have worked out well.  I have another friend who is is really sharp and has a dry sense of humor.  She was the perfect therapist of the friend who “did not want to be babied,” they were a great fit.

3. Style.  Are you a more intellectual, analytical or feeling oriented person.  Do you have a healthy sense of humor or are you more quiet and pensive.  It’s important to find a therapist who will meet you where you are at, but will also challenge you on your defenses (i.e., over-using humor to camouflage uncomfortable feelings, etc).  Do you need a light touch or someone really straight forward (that’s me, by the way).   

4. Insurance coverage or payment amount.  If you want to use insurance and you have a qualifying diagnosis, try your best to find a therapist who is covered by your insurance because you don’t want to become resentful (or poor) paying a therapist when you don’t need to.  If you can’t find a therapist who feels like a good fit covered by your insurance, try to find someone who might see you for the insurance reimbursement rate, which is probably a lot less than their regular rate.

It can be overwhelming to find a therapist.  You can read a blurb about a therapist on a website (like Psychology Today, which I think is pretty good) but it can be hard for a non-professional to differentiate between them.  Don’t hesitate to ask for help from a therapist friend if you have one.  

Once you find a therapist, It is okay to interview them.  Ask questions about how they do therapy, what their style is.  If your questions are going to take more than, 20 minutes or so, offer to make an appointment for a session so you don’t take too much of their time.  Most therapists, including me, will charge you for an initial session whether you decide to continue with that therapist or not. 

It is okay to Google a therapist.  Recently, a new client told me, “I hope it is okay, but I googled you and read your blog,” like she was embarrassed.  I was thrilled, because I think that my blog really reflects who I am as a therapist, so I felt like she had some insight into me before we started working together.

 

Tags: therapy