A Safe Place: A Relaxation Technique

The safe place exercise is a very common technique to help learn, practice and then easily access a state of relaxation.  You may know it already, but it is always worth reviewing.

I recommend reading the script over a couple of times before trying it yourself.  If you can have a friend read it to you, that can be even more helpful so you can fully concentrate on the experience.

THE SAFE PLACE EXERCISE

Close your eyes and pay attention to your breathe.
Breathe in, fill your abdomen with air and exhale a little longer than you inhale.

Try to clear your mind.  If there are distracting thoughts gently sweep them away.

Picture yourself in a safe place, go to a place in your mind that feels calm and safe.  It can be a place that you have been to before, or it can be a place you’ve never been to.

What do you see?  What colors are there?  What objects do you see?

Do you see any textures?  Can you feel the textures?  What is the temperature in this place?

Are there any sounds or noises?  Can you hear anything in this place?

Can you smell anything?  Are there any fragrances?

Is there anything to taste in your safe place?  Taste it, what does it taste like?

Are there any beings in your safe place with you?

How do you feel in this place?  How does it make you feel to be here in your mind?

Remember all the things that you saw, heard, smelled, touched or tasted.  Engage all yoru senses.  Remember  how you felt in this safe place.

Remember that you can come back here anytime; that it is in you, so you can come here whenever you want and bring back the feelings that it gives you.

Whenever you are ready, return your attention to your breathe.
And then whenever you’re ready, open your eyes.

If you are able to develop a safe place, and it helps you feel relaxed, practice this exercise so it will be like a sharpened tool, ready for use at any time.   You can do the safe place to help you relax before you go to sleep, to manage anxiety in a tense situation (like if you’re afraid of flying, etc).  Use the safe place whenever you want to get in touch with relaxed, calm feelings.

Life is a Stage, You’re the Lighting Director

In my consultation group the other day, Noelle  McWard–a very talented therapist!– who was telling us about the recent seminar she attended on Acceptance Therapy.  I don’t know much detail about Acceptance Therapy yet, but will learn more some day.  “Acceptance-based approaches (Hayes & Wilson, 1994) postulate that instead of opting for change alone, the most effective approach may be to accept and change” (Dewane, 2008).  Noelle presented a metaphor about a person being like a bus driver, dealing with whoever is on the bus (I will leave that to Noelle to explain further).  It reminded me of a metaphor that I have often used with clients that seems to be helpful to them.

Life is a Stage; You’re the Lighting Director

In a play, there can be many things on the stage, but our attention is drawn towards parts of the stage and away from other parts based on the lighting.  If there is a spotlight on the character singing, we may not even know the other people on stage until the lighting changes and they are revealed.

Often in our lives, there are negative things that have happened–traumas, deaths, frustrations and disappointments, for example.  Some people shine the spotlight on the negatives, forgetting the positives in the shadows.  You might not be able to rid yourself of a negative event that happened in your life, but you do have the power to shine the light on the positives and keep the negatives more in the shadows.

An example:  Dora and Debbie both have chronic arthritis.  They have almost constant pain in their hands. Dora spends a lot of time talking about her pain to the people around her.  She uses her arthritis as an excuse not to be active.  When she takes medication that helps, she complains about the side effects.  She does not do the exercises that her physical therapist taught her or the self care she learned, because it makes her hands hurt and it’s not worth the pain to get the possible benefits.  Dora does not attend the pain management support group because, “other people’s problems depress me.”

Debbie does some things that are helpful for her arthritis.  She takes her medicine and even though she has some side effects, she uses her self talk to remind herself of the pain relief the medicine gives her.  She does stretches and exercises that her physical therapist taught her; even though it is hard to do, she recognizes the benefits she feels from repetition and consistency.  She goes to a support group  where she talks about frustrations caused by her pain, where she feels good about helping others and finds out helpful tips from the other members.  By attending the support group, she can channel talk about the pain there and then does not talk  o everybody in her life about her pain.  Debbie participates in activities to distract herself from her pain.  She continues to attend to her friendships, making sure she listens to others’ problems in addition to talking about her own some times.  Sometimes when she hears about her friends’ problems, she recognizes that some things are worse than her own pain.

By shining the light on what makes us feel good about ourselves, it is easier to look at the world from a positive point of view.

The ABCs of ACT — Acceptance and Commitment Therapy
By Claudia Dewane, LCSW, DEd Social Work Today Vol. 8 No. 5 P. 36, September/October 2008 Issue.