A Diagnosis for Elsa in the Movie “Frozen”

  I was watching Frozen recently with my kids and it was hard to take my therapist’s hat off to just enjoy it.   If you didn’t see the movie Frozen, here’s a quick summary.  Elsa has a magic power to create ice and snow. Worried that she would be ostracized from society, her parents lock her in her room and tell her to keep her powers secret, even from her younger sister, Ana.  To control her powers, she basically has to stop having emotions.  After the parents die, Elsa is crowned Queen.  That day, she erupts and everyone finds out about her powers.  She decides to run off, induldges her power and leaves a chronic winter behind (sound familiar Chicagoans?).  In trying to protect herself, she hurts her sister, Ana, who then needs to be saved by “an act of true love.”  Spoiler Alert:  My kids and I love that the “act of true love” is between the sisters when Ana sacrifices herself to save Elsa.  This leads to the thawing of both the sisters’ hearts and the end of winter (do we need an “Act of True Love” Chicago?).

So what’s going on here psychologically?  Elsa tries cutting herself off from people and emotions and it doesn’t work.  She can’t successfuly keep her emotions locked up, so they end up exploding and hurting her sister, whom she loves.  Diagnosis: Anger problems or more specifically, Adjustment Disorder with Disturbance of Conduct.  What this means is that Elsa is “adjusting” to her situation of being socially isolated by acting out with inappropriate behavior.  Because she has poor social skills due to social isolation, she is unable tolerate a disagreement with her sister and gets overwhelmed with her anger.

What would it have been like if Elsa and Ana’s parents had gone to a family therapist when they first found out about her powers?  I think that each family could have spoken about their feelings: worry, fear, grief, excitement, disappointment, etc.  Together, they could have come up with a better plan to help Elsa manage her feelings.  Her therapist could have given her some coping skills: breathing and relaxation exercises; challenging her negative self talk; including regular exercise into her routine; imagery, meditation.  By encouraging her to have friends and social interaction instead of cutting herself off, Elsa could have learned appropriate social behavior by getting feedback from her peers, at the very least, her younger sister, Ana.

Honestly, it reminds me of people I know, who are wound up so tight that they snap so easily when they get frustrated.  I always assume that there are supressed feeling beneath and a reluctance to open up about any of the feelings for fear of exploding.  So if you or someone you know has explosive anger, there is help available.  If you e-mail me at eileendordek@comcast.net, I can connect you with a therapist to help with anger management.

Breathing Will Calm You Down–REALLY!

I have had several clients recently who are dealing with anxiety, stress or anger.  With each of these problems, we often feel symptoms in our physical body, probably even before we identify the feeling associated with the tension.  While dealing with the feelings is obviously a very important part of treatment, I start with the body and the signals it’s giving.  If you can calm the body, you have a lot more control over your reaction to the stressor.

Here is an example.  A client told me that he has problems with anger.  He will deal with a stressful day at work while keeping it all under control.  He drives home and usually experiences some road rage.  Then when he gets home, he often explodes at a loved one about something that bothers him, but realizes that he has an outsized response because he has not dealt with his feelings throughout the day.

My first question, as it usually is, was”Where do you feel it in your body?”  Most clients reply, “I don’t know,” because they are not used to identifying the physical signal their body is sending them before they “blow.”  Your body is always sending you signals wheter you know it yet or not.  For this particular client, he realized that he felt tension in his hands, “I’m a streering wheel gripper,” he said.  It would often travel up to tension in his head.  Personally, when I am stressed or anxious, I feel like I have a motor running in my chest, like gears speedily grinding away.

So this is how I proceed with trying to calm the physical tension in the body.

1. Breath.  If my client has done some work prior to coming to see me, like doing yoga, Tai Chi or mediation, they usually have some good breathing skills.  If they have never done any work, I will teach them how to breathe.  A good starting exercise is, “Breathe in, 2, 3, 4, Exhale, 2, 3, 4, 5.”  Exhaling longer than you inhale increases calm

2.  Once we identify the place of the tension in the body, I ask my client to close their eyes and try to come up with an image of the tension.  Does it have a shape or a form?  Does it have a color?

3.  I encourage the person to use their breath to change the form or the color of the tension.  After about 4 breaths, I ask if the form or color has changed.  And often it does.

4.  Practice this exercise regularly.  It will not be available to a person if they have not been sharpening this tool

What’s the Next Thing That Will Kill Me?

 Astronaut Chris Hadfield 

This blog post was inspired when I was listening to Fresh Air and Terri Gross interviewed Astronaut Chris Hadfield (if you haven’t watched his videos on YouTube–including singing David Bowie’s Major Tom–I recommend them; here’s my daughter’s favorite http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lMtXfwk7PXg).

Hadfield explained that in NASA, they think about “What’s the Next Thing That Will Kill Me?”  He asked, “As a crew, how do you stay focused and not get paralyzed by the fear of it?  How we do it is to break down, ‘What are the risks’ or ‘What’s the Next Thing That Will Kill Me?’”  Then he explained that they dig in and look at, “So this might kill us . . . let’s get ready . . . and think about why that might effect what we’re doing, let’s have a plan” for that. And then at NASA, they practice and practice.

While most of us don’t have to deal with the consequences facing astronauts, people with anxiety often feel the effects of their flight or fight response, which feels like “What’s the next thing that will kill me?”  Unfortunately, so many people respond to this fear by avoidance, for example, not getting a lump checked out instead of  risking finding out it is cancer.  The result of avoidance is usually an increase in anxiety instead of a decrease.  The not knowing builds anxiety and gives you the opportunity to indulge the what ifs. Avoidance delays action-taking, which is the best way to actually reduce anxiety.

So I really like Astronaut Hadfield’s ” break it down, make a plan” approach to any anxiety.  Here is my recommendation for how to apply this to daily anxieties, like fear of flying.

1. What’s the worst thing that can happen? “I might get claustrophobic”, or “I might die.”   
2. Play out the scenario.  You have a panic attack. You die.
3. Come up with a plan and take action. 

• See a therapist who can help you learn strategies to manage your anxiety and reduce the symptoms of a panic attack. Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) or Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) can be very useful.*
• Many therapists can help you with exposure therapy, EMDR, or, hypnosis which are also effective with anxiety.*
• Talk to your doctor about taking anti-anxiety medication for this specific situation.

1. Practice. Learn coping mechanisms and then practice them over and over again so you can access them when you really need them (like the Astronauts!). 

Finally, are you afraid of dying?  If you play out many anxieties to their end, it often comes down to a fear of dying.  If you have a fear of dying, you need to deal with it.  You should talk to a therapist, clergy, family or friends to help you come to grips with it.  While you probably won’t die on that plane flight, statistically speaking, you will die at some point.  So don’t let the fear of dying keep you from living.  Or as Drake says, “Everybody dies but not everybody lives.”

*If you live in the Chicago area and would like a referral to a therapist who practices CBT, ACT, EMDR, imagery or hypnosis, feel free to contact me at eileendordek@comcast.net.